Monday, February 28, 2011


Very frustrated...
Very annoyed...
This story is NOT coming together. It’s still a complete and utter blur. All that I have is a bunch of questions that I can’t answer at all.
I think I just need to take a step back and assess the story. See if it’s actually worth developing it further than the short story it is at the moment.
It just annoys me because I’ve put in a lot of work in the planning stages, getting those questions writtten and now I feel like it’s been a waste of time.
So annoying.
So frustrating.
On to the next project I guess. I’ll put aside my notes until I feel the characters speak to me again. Maybe by then I’ll be able to answer the questions that I have.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

overtired eyes

I've been writing a lot of bits and pieces lately. Mainly just blog type articles that I hope will garner me an income at a later date. I'm doing all the prep work so that when it comes to starting my business post-neis then I will have stuff ready to go.
That's if I get in.
It's still kind of in hiatus mode as I wait for them to tell me what's going on. It's making me really unfocused and a little jittery. I don't like waiting this long for an answer. I ned to know what's going on now so that I can make plan of attack for the next coupld of days...
I need coffee. Like really bad. This morning I got up, had a shower and then sat on the bedroom floor for five minutes just staring at the carpet. Really trippy stuff. My overtired eyes started playing games with me and it made my horrible hodgepodge carpet seem as if bugs were moving all over it. Kinda glad I didn't drive over to the library today (drivers in wendouree are probably also glad).
I hate waiting...

Thursday, February 10, 2011

random 25 things post

1. I learned how to swear in Chinese from watching "firefly"
2. One day I want to be a published author
3. I do not believe that job networks know what is best for everyone (despite thinking they do)
4. I hate party lines
5. I look after other people better than I look after myself
6. I don't usually respond to forwarded notes
7. I can be annoying at times when I ask questions (lots of them)
8. I am afraid of deep water and cannot jump into the deep end of a pool or go on a waterslide
9. I believe that everyone has the right to their own opinion, but not everyone is enlightened enough to see the truth
10. I think we're all a little crazy on some level
11. I read over 700 books last year (but at least 50 of them were constant rereads)
12. I am a Joss Whedon geek - I love all his shows
13. When I was 19, I rolled a car on the way back to Ballarat and it freaked me out
14. People who talk aloud to themselves freak me out a little - am I supposed to pretend not to hear them?
15. I read a lot more than I write
16. I am a sugar addict - it makes me happy
17. I believe that everyone has the right to make their own informed choices and that no one has to be a sheep unless they cannot think for themselves
18. I apply for jobs I do not want to keep the government from cutting me off and making me homeless (or making me have to live in my car until I had to sell it cos I cannot pay insurance)
19. I am not afraid of spiders, like I won't scream when I see one, but if there is one inside, I will kill it to stop it from biting me (unless its a daddy longlegs)
20. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get up the guts to do something really important with my life
21. I hate it when other people make me question my worth. They have no right to
22. I think the people who have the power are too busy bring pleased with themselves that they are not willing to listen to anything that might help them to better use said power.
23. I have absolutely no idea what my derby name might end up being - seriously. No idea
24. I will master not falling on my butt when I roller skate by the end of Fresh Meat - seriously, yesterday's injury still hurts a little.
25. I always aim to only work on one story, but then a character pops itself into my mind and I feel like I should at least try to write something about them. 20 odd thousand words later I have a story that needs serious culling

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I don’t know how I managed to do it, but somehow I was able to convince the people at BRACE that I was NEIS material, at least initially. I got into the pre-NEIS course. A big sigh of relief on my part. I had to call them about it because I hadn’t heard anything yet. I’ve got a meeting with my job network this afternoon, so I kind of want to know where I stand with NEIS before I sign anything with my job network that I don’t need to.
I know that getting into the pre-NEIS classes still don’t mean that I’m doing the whole program thing, but it’s a lot closer that I thought I would get. I mean, I still might completely stuff it all up yet, but I’m trying this whole not being negative thing.
Otherwise, I’ve just been doing derby stuff and re-working bits of Ferris Wheel. Actually, I’m going to start another print round this afternoon while I’m at my job network. I’m going in early so that I can do bits and pieces that I put off yesterday because my computer had a conniption fit when I tried to even go on gmail. I should make a list of what I need to do, but I’m kinda in the can’t be bothered place again.
It’s been going on for a while. Unless I’m working on ferris Wheel, I’m not actually doing anything worthwhile when it comes to my writing. I’m pretty sure that I have writer’s block. This blog is the first bit of writing I’ve done in a while that has come directly from my mind and not from inspiration through tarot cards.