Welcome to my NaNoWriMo 2021 Journey.

This year, as well as trying to write my 50000 words, I also chose to keep a weekly journal about the NaNoWriMo experience for me.

 Day one and the creative side of my brain is already stopped in start mode. It's like my car, a bit rough to

start. Yeah, Dad, I know, I probably need to service it - the car, not my brain. According to the neurologist

I spoke to back in March, everything brain-wise is ok. It may be soaked in sugary, carbonated caffeine

residue by now, but at least its working. Just wish the creativity would kick in.

It isn't like I haven't spent the last two months doing planning for this. It isn't like I have the storyboards in

place, ready to roll.

I could have spent time at lunch also writing, instead I got caught in my usual reddit loophole of #aita

posts.

It's not that I'm not interested in writing the story, I think it could just be that I gave so much energy to the

planning that I am not 100% sure that I can give another 1663 dedicated words.

Day eight

Number of words I should be at: 13 304 (give or take)

Number of words I am actually at 7800 (approximately)

Daily word average – way under the 1667 I need to be aiming at. (I know, I said 1663 in previous post,

but I was wrong).

What happened?

Well, as with all things planned, life gets in the way. I get home from work too tired. I write too few words

and burn out. Also, I’m finding my work station (freestanding lap desk sitting on lounge room floor) really

not conductive to long term writing sprints. Ok, so that one is on me. I should have thought of that earlier,

but, yeah, nope. My legs, knees and back start to ache and it all interferes with my writing.

I had a weird dream, that I want to incorporate elements of into the story, but I don’t think it fits in with the

theme of it all. It’s too funny, and while there are humourous elements to the story, I think it will be too

much of a diversion to include it, given that it will be at a tense part of the story. Yep, I have weird

dreams.

Day eight – later

So, I’ve written by hand the next 500 + words, just no one ask what I was supposed to be doing

otherwise. It’s a good way for my mind to drift, get that release of creative energy that my days have

been lacking.

Day 10

So, after not writing anything yesterday, choosing social interaction over doing other tasks before I write,

I have been writing today. The plan I had written out, with all my details, isn’t fitting where the story is

supposed to be headed. Its still the same conversation being said, but the tone of it is changed, and the

path that one of the secondary characters is taking is very different. I still have her making a choice out

of ignorance, but I am adding layers to the why of it so that it has potential for more resonance.

Day 23

Current word count approximately 11500

With seven days to go, I think its pretty fair to say that I am not going to hit the 50000 word goal for

NaNoWriMo. Not that it’s totally shocking. I would have liked to have reached the 25000 mid point, but I

think realistically, I probably won’t hit it. I might hit the 15000 mark, but I might not.

I think that the drive to write needs more work within me. I need to prioritise writing as a daily task to get

those muscles, once quite strong, to come back again.

Do I still like the story I am telling? Sometimes. I worry that, before I reach the end, there will come a

place where I go, actually, I do hate these characters, why can’t I just kill them all? There are definitely

paths that I am being taken on by the characters that I hadn’t planned for when I put together the

planning cards for the chapters. I have pretty much given up on pre-creating character cards with all their

details, instead just making notes along the way for consistency later on.

I did have that aha moment, where I knew how I wanted the chapter to end. Again, it wasn’t a scene I

had preplanned on, more so it was just a drop of an image, and I knew, where I was in my story draft

notes, that I wouldn’t get to it, but I knew I wanted to get there, that I wanted that scene in the story. Kind

of like a few years ago when I knew that I wanted a scene where my central character fought a zombie,

ending with the zombie being pushed into an electric fence. That was a great 10000 word mark!

Day 24

Transferred my handwritten notes, which I always pre-tally the word count. Then when I type them up,

the word count changes for the new addition, usually ending up in more words. Of course, the main

challenge is trying to translate my own rushed handwriting, because it is always a bit of a mess. Usually

because I am writing when I should be doing something else.

Day 29...

Word count: Seriously, don’t even ask me!

The 50000 word deadline looms. I am not even within waving distance of it. I am closer to the starting

line than I am the finishing one.

I think, what I have learnt from all of this is that I need to go further back to my roots as a writer. I need to

start small, maybe a couple of short stories and the like. Maybe review (again) old NaNo projects that I

really enjoyed writing to see what changes can be adapted or made. Lately I have been thinking of the

one that started as a very short chapter story, that I later adapted into a NaNo project. I don’t know if I

still have a printed copy. I know that I had started to make some changes because there were definitely

elements that I didn’t like, that I just wrote for the sake of writing words as opposed to going working on

quality. Which is kind of how NaNo projects are supposed to be. Sometimes it is just words for the sake

of words.

I have also been thinking about the recurring themes and items that come up in my NaNo projects over

the years. Some of these include:

Magic in reality without any justification or explanation about why some people have access to

magic while others do not

Escape from circumstances that are unpleasant to characters

Road trips – usually done on foot. Might start off as solo but usually gather allies

Forests which have magical elements

Overturning authority figures and regimes

Reliance on weaponry, mostly knives, never guns because I don’t like them and know nothing

about them. That’s not to say I know a lot about knives. More so, I don’t know, a fascination with

swords maybe?

Day 30

Yep, that happened.

At least I can say that I attempted it, that I made a start. I put myself through the planning stages. I

wasted a ton of paper and card planning, plotting and scheming.

I think that there were a lot of issues with the world I created. I had a lot of information, and I didn’t know

where to begin. A lot of the questions that I started with never got answered

Meeting with the Muses

 I sat down with my muses today. I say muses because I have more than one. Each one represents different aspects of my writing. I wanted to meet with them today, to see why they have been so MIA of late. Or, when they did visit, they never stayed long enough, just time to inspire an idea but not enough to fully develop the story into something more.

Horror was quick to point out that the monsters I was jumping at weren't her sort, therefore she didn't want to know anything about them. Romance chimed in, stating that there was nothing she could give me. Drama offered something, but was quick to state that she was in no way responsible for the tangents it might take on. 

The key thing that they were all vocal about was how maybe if I drank less carbonated caffeine, maybe they could find their way to being more vocal. I scoffed at them, telling that I couldn't cope without my addition. Drama demanded an answer, asking if my taste for caffeine played in a part in my whole brain exploding episode a couple of years ago. Before I could point out that there was no scientific evidence, Fantasy, who had been off talking to a patch of grass, returned and asked if there could be a spell on me, cast by a wicked faerie or the like. We all paused, then laughed. Fantasy Muse isn't the most rational of thinkers, but her freedom is inspiring, some of the time at least. She just says something, lets it run wild and leaves me to create something about her meanderings.

I rationalised to them that I had brought them out to the waterfalls, hoping that surely, something out there might inspire them.

Horror and Drama co-told a story about a loner, sitting at a bench, writing in a spiral notebook. It was a long, passionate diatribe that turns out it could be a suicide note. Romance chimes in that it could work, add in some lost or spurned love. Then after death, the loner's ghost comes back to haunt everyone who goes there. Fantasy is quiet. She doesn't like this idea. She shifts in her seat, then begs us all to consider something else, something lighter. There isn't anything in the story that she can work with. Ghosts aren't her thing. She asks if there are faeries or pixies around the falls, trying to prevent people from jumping or falling. Instead, catching them mid-jump, taking them through to the world of the fae instead to experience a different life while they heal. Horror sighs, then asks Fantasy if there could be a darker element for them to work with. Fantasy agrees. Then she turns to Romance and Drama and says that their elements can also be a part of it.

Then, they all turn to look at me in expectation. They tell me that, surely I can do something with their ideas. Instead I drink my Raspberry and Lime Slurpee and listen to the water running over the waterfall. It's cold there, but I am not cold inside. I am warm, at peace. There are stories still to be told. I want to go and write them, but first, another walk.